why not the records why not crooked sleep why not trite love songs because of me why not but I'm so alone and why not because I hate my life and that is not beautiful and why not because of me because memories are not forever because of me there are ways I can remember because I hate my future because I hate my past why not because of me because of Sheryl Crow because of Long Beach circa 2000 why not because of whatever hurts because of me why not if there are other ways to do this and there are other people then why not/

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to be honest it all started with toro y moi and champagne on a sunny afternoon alone crying the dining room to be honest it started on a lake in a paddle boat with paul newman to be honest it all began in a dorm room with an itchy brown sweater first it was pokemon and slushies well that was after the photo on the playground and spin the bottle on the sewer grate it was around then that I felt it that I felt alone and I felt without it see so I guess this isn't the first and it won't be the last no matter who I am or what life this is or who you are or if you do or don't respond to affection perhaps you should not have ever gone there perhaps I could melt my hand into the screen and distort songs with lyrics the way you have melted into me and twisted me in a way that can never be undone look at our friendship it is dissipating look at this love it is a watercolor look at the beginning and analyze what is happening there are ways to stop this cycle there are sweet and tender ways to embrace life I am one of those people who embrace life why not