here are the beautiful things i will fall asleep thinking about:

a boy's eyelashes when they are blinking at me.

skin against skin. i like feet to legs.

the beatles on my phonograph.

closing my eyes and dreaming of smoking a cigarette.

becoming sexier as i get older.

wondering about the high school sweetheart.

reading my journal i used to carry all the time.

playing my keyboard at bedtime.

holding his hand and his hand and his in the same dream.

kissing strangers at parties.

ordering liplicious drinks at the jackpot.

polishing my nails flitterfly pink.

these are the questions i will ask boys and girls in my dreams tonight:

1. would you like it if i posed like this?

2. do you want me to hold your head up so you don't drift asleep?

3. does that feel good?

4. where did you want to take me?

5. this is fun, isn't it?

6. would you like more to drink/smoke/shoot/fuck?

7. why do you think i am so perfect?

8. how would you like to make love now?

9. does this position suit you?

10. when was the last time you kissed someone like that?

11. could you touch me again?

12. did you want to go for a stroll?

...the moon is high i think, i haven't looked outside all day or night, so it is all in my head... the moon will be full for me tonight, with passing cerulean clouds and cranes with thick spines...

tonight is mine. i am the prize. the inamorato. i am unwonted.

he will be: risque, inexorable, , libidinous even.

this is our dialogue when no one is speaking and i am the only one listening: "you wanna fall out"? "yeah. ready for fornication". "i want you to muzzle me to the garden". "sing to me"? "okay. like what"? "like this [i sing, like dylan]: One more time at midnight, near the wall. take off your heavy make-up and your shawl. won't you descend from the throne, from where you sit? let me feel your love one more time before I abandon it..."

one more secret before those heavy dewy monsters close: i don't like what she said to me tonight, i want to ignore that.