this secret will last me a lifetime and this trouble has thrown me off guard.

the fresh breeze that follows my distance to work makes me feel like i can do anything. so i have found a new value in that.

the air around feels damp when it hits my lips. it's there.

i've deleted some extra space. those filtered cigarettes. those were killing me.

those ___________ i'll fill in the blank with everything because now i find it was all killing me.

so i'm alive. and i'm 21 still and my goals are ripening more each day. this soul has been renewed. i like my library on the afternoons. i enjoy hilly walks in the sun. city views. dresses and heels are still all my liking, and sex has disappeared, and the original thought was that i would be concerned but i feel like i weeded my garden. i do. i have uplifted roots and weeds and there's all this fresh new room for clean soil, which i've just figured out in figuring that out that the soil has already been placed. and turned. and i've made it warm and moist and dark and it's fertile. i'll stir it every day and enrich it every day.

this girl is getting out head strong.

this girl is coming up through the fire. i'm just not kidding.

this secret will last me a life time, but the troubles that threw me off guard i've tossed into the garbage pail that tipped over on it's side and rolled down the hill and it never came back again.