this shell-shocked being undresses herself and walks into the room of lights and mirrors.

so now she will see it all? the lights will blind the mirrors and the mirrors with blind her eyes. she will be blind forever.

she wants to drop it all and go back and go back and go baaaack. she wants to drive to greenville again. she misses the one who kisses her with his eyes. she does.

she has recently been doubting herself so much. it's not how she wants. no no. this boy, the year old romance. he has helped her find the 'movingonness' she was seeking. and they make the best love... everywhere and anytime because there is no limit and there are no rules or breaking of hearts or, 'but my friends are here, i've gotta go'... no. there is none of that for the girl and her lover. and they smile. they do. and all of a sudden, she is writing about him and not thinking of greenville or heartcrushings or 'imnotgoodenough'. he never cares for himself around her and she has been digging deeper and deeper to find the humble girl to take her place. she wants to capture this perfect romance. lovestarved. she was talking to someone weeks ago about this. she was saying how a real relationship includes two people giving. that is what she has found. and this is what she isn't ready for. this is what she would cry for. this is the thing she would hate to lose.